This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:
“Conquering fear is the doorway to triumph”, said Benedicto – my tour guide in Guatemala. We were about to go on a zip line (canopy tour) on top of the beautiful jungle in Tikal.
I really wanted to go and have fun, but as I was going up on the first tree, fear started to show up. When I stood on the platform, the fear took over my body. I couldn’t feel my legs. I panicked and wanted to leave. I started to think about everything that could go wrong: what if I got stuck in the middle; what if the monkeys jumped on me; what if the cords are not attached properly. My mind was all over the place.
My wise tour guide Benedicto, looked inside my eyes and very calmly said: ‘Focus on what you want’. I burst into tears. Little did he know that I had been in Guatemala for 12 days already taking a personal development course and when I had my breakthrough, FOCUS ON WHAT I WANT AT ALL TIMES, was my biggest lesson.
I took a deep breath and I focused on having fun. I had wanted to ride a zip line for many years but I always let fear rule my decision. This time I was determined I was going to do it.
I kept repeating to myself that I wanted to have fun and started to focus on how great the feeling of flying would be. I started to enjoy the scenery and watched the monkeys jumping from tree to tree. Benedicto kept talking to me and when I realized I had already jumped towards the forest. WOW!!!! What a feeling!
The reason I share this story with you is to make you realize that when we lose focus of what we want, we let anxiety and fear take control of our lives.
My question is – do you know what you are focused on in each moment?
Through the zip line experience I’ve realized how easy it is to lose focus. We have to be aware of what we want all the times. Otherwise, how do you know that you are going in the direction you want and are not being taken out by the events that happen in your life everyday?
It’s very easy to get caught up on other things. For example: customers are not buying; the economy is not doing well; the bills you have to pay; the money you don’t have; the time you don’t have; what they will think of me if I do this or that and etc. These examples are definitely not the things you want to focus on.
Focusing on what you want starts with having CLARITY.
Having clarity about what you want and then focus on that. For instance, the focus is on HOW to afford to send your kids to university (and not on: I can’t afford it). The focus is on HOW to increase sales (and not on: sales are down 30% from last year). The focus is on having fun on the zip line (and not on: I can get stuck in the middle).
When you know what you want and focus on it, you open a world of possibilities; you expand the options and you generate new ideas. It makes it easier to ‘conquer’ the fear or you feel the fear and do what you want to do anyway. Just think about how you will feel when you get it.
So, next time you need to make a cold call, for example. First, focus on what you want. Ask yourself: what do I want to achieve from this call, feel the fear (or let go of the fear all together) and make the call. The first time may be nerve wracking. The second time will be a little better. Keep the focus on the results you want and the third time will be a piece of cake.
You have to become conscious about all the things that you want in your life. Be clear about them, write them down or make a vision board. When you move towards what you want, the negative emotions such as fear fade away. You start to live your life on purpose, you become inspired and you achieve extraordinary results.
Fabiana Bacchini is a Brazilian journalist, MA in Sociology. She is a certified NLP Master Practitioner by The American Board of Neuro Linguistic Programming. She has been living in Toronto for nine years with her husband and her 2 year old son. As a life coach, she helps women to re-discover themselves and live the life of their dreams. To contact Fabiana, visit her website at http://rediscoveryoucoaching.com/ or send her an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org.