Outside In


This article is by Gina Mollicone-Long:

You already have all the resources you need. How many times have you heard that comment?

This is not a new idea nor it is a simple one to grasp but it is true. And, if you make it a principle by which you live then you will unlock more power and happiness than you can even imagine.

In my books, I write about a concept called Be-Do-Have. This is also not a new concept nor is it something that I made up. However, it is the profound distinction that means the difference between having power in your life versus being at the mercy of your circumstances.

Let’s do a quick review.

Our modern culture actually has the paradigm backwards as Have-Do-Be. For example, many people believe that they have to HAVE money so they can DO what they want in order to finally BE happy. But, that flow is impossible and here’s why.

According to Einstein, the entire universe is energy and what we consider to be “matter” or solid is simply energy whose vibration has been so lowered to be perceptible by our five senses, in that respect, what you consider to be real and solid is merely energy is a solid form. At the end of the day, it’s just energy. It’s all energy.

Taking that assumption then, let’s talk about the flow of energy.

Energy flows thoughts->feelings->actions->results. Everything that has ever been made, invented, discovered or created in our world had its genesis as a thought. Everything we consider to be real had its origins in our minds first as an idea. Then, this idea was made more powerful with the addition of our feelings. This combination of thoughts and feelings prompted us to take action or behave in a certain way and these behaviors are what finally led to the result.

If you look carefully at this flow you will notice one important distinction: it flows Be (thoughts/feelings) -> Do (actions/behaviors) -> Have (results). It actually flows Be-Do-Have which means that if you are looking for something in the physical world to make you feel a certain way then that is as crazy as expecting water to flow uphill all by itself.

When I was a child, my parents went through a divorce. Up until the time that I became aware of their problems I didn’t have a care in the world. Then, one day, the rug literally got pulled out from underneath me. As in any divorce, at some point, one of the people has to actually leave the house and the family has to split. In my case, it was my Dad.

I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. I didn’t realize how pivotal that day was until today. What I realized was that I had actually anchored my feelings of peace and safety and security to my father such that the day he walked out the door so did my feelings. Since that time, I have not really been able to feel safe because at some unconscious level, I believed that he caused me to feel safe when the reality is simply that I had not cultivated the resources necessary to cause it for myself.

In fact, his leaving was the only event impactful enough to motivate me to spend over 20 years learning that lesson. His leaving is the only thing powerful enough to force me to find those resources within myself. In that respect, his leaving was one of the greatest gifts he could have given me as a father, the ability to discover who I really am.

As long as you remain unconscious to the fact that you’ve anchored the feeling to the person, place, thing or event then you will always be dependent on getting it through the anchor. In reality, your experience of peace, love or joy came from within you and then got anchored to something in your experience. It never has and never will come from the outside. You already have everything you need inside yourself but you have to stop looking to the outside to find something on the inside. A good friend once told me a parable that illustrates this point.

The Gods were noticing that mankind was quite a powerful and resourceful creature and they were observing that it was only matter of time before mankind knew all the secrets of the Gods.

A meeting was held to discuss where they would hide their most treasured wisdom such that mankind would not discover it.

 A suggestion was made to hide it on the top of the tallest mountain but they decided that eventually someone would be strong enough and smart enough to find it there. Then, they thought they could hide it in the depths of the deepest ocean. But they realized that mankind would eventually be smart enough and creative enough to discover it there as well.

A long silence ensued. Then, the Gods had an idea, a brilliantly simple idea. They would hide their deepest wisdom in the one place they were sure that mankind would never look. They would hide it inside each individual themselves.

It’s a big paradigm shift to take responsibility for giving yourself what you need.

Believe me when I tell you that I have learned this lesson the hard way many times over. However, I can tell you this. When I live in the paradigm that I already have everything that I needeven if it doesn’t look like it on the outside then the resources always surface. Always, without exception.

They may not surface gracefully or eloquently but they always surface and I always grow. The experiences that really test my faith in that paradigm always turn out to be the ones that uncover the most beautiful aspects of me. In that respect, the toughest circumstances, the biggest challenges, the most painful memories are the very events that contain the greatest gifts. But you have to be willing to look inside for what you need. The answer is right in front of you. In fact, the answer is you.

Gina Mollicone-Long helps people get what they want. She is an international best- selling author, compelling speaker and peak performance specialist with a mission to reveal greatness in individuals, teams and organizations. She is the co-founder and CEO of The Greatness Group, a multi-national corporate team building and training company. Since 1998, she has trained, coached or spoken to tens of thousands of people globally. Her books, Think or Sink and The Secret of Successful Failing are widely read and enjoyed by people around the world. She can show you exactly how to get out of your own way.

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